


Count the Moments

by giantpanda



Series: What if... [14]
Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27304282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giantpanda/pseuds/giantpanda
Summary: What if Neil's injuries after the earthquake weren't life threatening?  The events of the story "Heart Sets the Pace," through Claire's eyes.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Series: What if... [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799092
Comments: 34
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Lovevicley mentioned in a comment on the story "Heart Sets that Pace" that they’d like to see what happened when Claire went to work with the ring on. That comment stuck in my head, and instead of just writing a sequel, my brain decided that I should rewrite the whole story from Claire’s point of view, with some added scenes and three added chapters. The first six chapters cover the same events as the previous story, but we get to see what Claire was going through. The last three chapters are brand new. I hope you enjoy seeing things from Claire’s perspective with some additions.

Claire stood out on the balcony trying to keep it together. Since the moment she had heard that Neil was at the brewery during the earthquake, she had felt unsteady. Her relief at seeing him in one piece was short lived as he had collapsed after they finished the surgery on Marta. She had never been more afraid then when he was unresponsive. Thankfully, he had woken up in the ambulance insisting he was fine. Since he had been saying that since she first saw him at the brewery, she didn’t believe him.

She tried to push away her feelings for him as she ran the different scans. She did every scan and test that she could think of. He didn’t complain but she could tell that he was annoyed with her at times, but if it kept him safe, she would do anything. Her hands shook as she manipulated the machines to get the images she wanted. Her gaze traveling to the empty chair beside her where he would usually be sitting as they worked together.

She leaned against the railing as she fought back her tears. She was exhausted and still worried about him. It was just a few days ago when she realized she was in love with him, even though if she was honest, the feelings had been there much longer. She had ended things with Dash the same night that she had admitted her feelings to her therapist. She had worried that things would be awkward with Neil, but everything continued the same. As he was in the MRI, she had been tempted to tell him how she felt. The words were on the tip of her tongue as they talked through the tests. If something was seriously wrong, she wanted him to know that she loved him. She had thought she was okay with keeping her feelings to herself, thinking that being friends with him was better than nothing. But now that she had thought about losing him, thought about a life without him in it, she knew she would have to tell him.

She took a few shaky breathes. She thought about the last time she had cried at work and how Neil had been the one to comfort her. That had been the start of their friendship. She couldn’t pinpoint the moment when he became more than just a friend to her. It had happened without her even realizing. Somehow, he had become the most important person in her life. She had thought she would be able to live with just being friends with him, but now she knew it wasn’t enough. She turned when she heard the door open, wishing it was him but knowing that he should be resting in his hospital room. She gave Alex a smile as he moved to stand next to her.

“How are you?” she asked. “I heard about what happened.”

“I don’t know,” he sighed, his exhaustion and distress weighing him down. “I just got off the phone with my son. I wish he was closer.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know if I can stay here and not be with them.”

She reached out and took his hand wanting to comfort him if she could. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

He offered her a small smile. “Thanks. How’s Dr. Melendez? I heard you were driving him crazy with all the tests.”

“All the tests were negative. He seems to be healthy.” She looked out over the balcony. “I just wanted to be cautious. He collapsed. He would’ve done the same for any of us.”

She worried that her concern for him was obviously more than what she should feel for a coworker. While she knew that she would do her best for any of them, she would fight hardest for Neil.

“Don’t waste time,” Alex said softly, tears in his eyes.

“What?” she turned to face him.

“Be smart about it, but life is too short not to go after what you want.”

Claire felt that he was giving her permission to admit her feelings and go for a relationship with Neil. She was surprised because he had been vocal during the favoritism complaint that it wouldn’t be a good idea. Instead of saying anything she gave him a hug. Surprisingly, he hugged her back tightly.

“I’ve got your back,” he said.

“Thanks. I’ve got yours too. If you need anyone to talk to, I’m here.”

“Right now, you look like you could use some sleep.”

“I think we all could. It’s been a rough day.”

She stood with him for a little while longer, before reminding him to call her if he needed anything. They said goodnight and she made her way to Neil’s room. She should go home, but she didn’t want to leave without seeing him again and checking on him, to see for herself that he was still okay.

As she entered his room, she found him sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed as if he were about to leave.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Going home,” he answered. She opened her mouth to argue with him, but he held up his hand to stop her. “You ran all the tests, we both looked over the scans. I’m fine.”

She folded her arms across her chest, “You should stay longer just to make sure there are no complications. We don’t know what caused you to collapse.”

He stood and walked towards her. “Claire, I’ve been here for hours, the scans were clear, I don’t need to stay here for a few bumps and bruises. I can rest at home.”

“What if you start feeling worse?” she was terrified that he would walk out of the hospital and something would happen to him. That maybe she had missed something on his scans.

“Then I’ll come back, but I won’t.”

“Or you can just stay here for observation.”

“It’s not necessary.”

Sighing she asked. “What if it was me?”

He frowned, “What?”

“If I had been there and had gotten hurt, would you let me go home?”

She knew she wasn’t playing fair by making him think of their rolls reversed. She was sure he would react the same way she was.

“I would recommend that you stayed.” She grinned knowing she was right. “But knowing you, you’d want to go home just as much as I do.”

“That doesn’t mean you’d let me go. I’d feel better if you stayed until tomorrow morning.”

“How about you let me leave, and you can stay with me, so you can keep an eye on me?”

She thought about his offer. At least if she stayed with him, she would know that he would get help if he needed it. And she liked the idea of being close to him. The last thing she wanted was to be away from him after almost losing him. But she worried about keeping her emotions in check.

“Okay,” she agreed. “But we need to stop at my place first.”

“Of course,” he said. “When are you off?”

She glanced down at her watch, “About two hours ago.”

“Claire,” he started.

She shook her head. He didn’t get to worry about her when he ignored his own health. “You’re leaving the hospital against my advice, you don’t get to lecture me.”

“I wasn’t going to lecture you,” he said. “Just going to remind you that you have to take care of yourself.”

“You operated on someone while injured. You don’t get to say anything.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Fine. I won’t.”

She smiled, pleased with herself for winning that argument. “Let me get my things and I’ll come back to get you. Don’t leave without me.”

“I won’t.”

She hurried to the locker room to grab her things. She worried that he was just humoring her and would be gone when he returned to his room. She hoped that she would be able to keep her feelings under control while she was with him. Maybe keeping him in the hospital would be the safer choice.

She felt relieved when she got back to his room and saw that he hadn’t left. He motioned for her to go first out of the room. They were quiet as they made their way to her car. She was lost in her thoughts wondering if she should tell him now or later what she was feeling. Or if she should continue to pretend.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, unlocking the car.

“I told you, I’m good. I had a brilliant doctor taking care of me.”

Despite her worry, she couldn’t help but smile at his words. She always loved when he complimented her on her work. He believed in her, in a way that no one else ever had.

“How are you doing?” he asked as they got in her car.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, not ready yet to share how she was feeling.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” he said. “It’s been a crazy day.”

“Yes, it has,” she said softly.

After seeing the man that she loved collapse in front of her, crazy didn’t even begin to describe it.

She felt his eyes on her. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No thanks,” she said, shaking her head.

She turned the radio on low and drove to her apartment. She felt a swirl of emotions and wasn’t sure what to say to him. She went quickly into her apartment to pack a bag for spending the night. She hesitated for a moment before packing enough for a few nights, just in case he needed her. She felt the emotions of the day catching up to her, and she wanted to cry. But she knew she couldn’t yet. He would notice and worry. After taking a few deep breaths, she made her way back to the car. She glanced over at him every once in a while, to make sure that he was still okay.

Finally, she arrived at his place. They both quietly got out of the car. He reached to carry her bag for her, but she shook her head. They walked up the path and he unlocked the door. Once inside, they both dropped their things by the door. 

She stopped him from walking any further. She placed her hands against his face searching his eyes for any sign of concussion or pain. The loose grip that she had on her emotions slipped and her eyes filled with tears as she thought about all she almost lost. He placed his hands overtop hers.

“You did all the tests, we both examined the scans, stop worrying.”

“You almost died last tonight,” she said her voice breaking.

He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. She wondered if he was thinking the same things she was.

“But I didn’t. I’m okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neil, I can’t…” she couldn’t find the words that she wanted so she cut herself off by pressing her lips against his.

At first, she thought she had made a mistake, but then Neil wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her closer to him. She had thought about what it would be like to kiss him and she wasn’t disappointed. She moved to wrap her arms around his neck as she deepened the kiss. She had a fleeting thought that maybe he felt the same way she did, when all thoughts left her as he slid his hand up under her shirt and moved to kiss her against her neck. Lost in the moment she felt him flinch as her hand traveled down and brushed against the bruise on his side.

She moved to step back afraid that she had hurt him, but he kept his arms around her and pulled her closer.

“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s just a little sore.”

She was lost in the way he made her feel. Her fingers fiddled with the buttons at the top of his shirt. “Do you want to stop?” she asked softly.

“No, do you?”

She brushed her lips against his. “No, but you need to promise you’ll tell me if you’re in pain.”

“I promise,” he said. 

She wasn’t sure if she was doing the right thing, but it was what she needed. What she had wanted for too long. After the fear from the day, she didn’t want to take any chances that she wouldn’t get to be with him. He took her hand and brought it up to lips. He gently kissed her hand before keeping it in his as he led her to the bedroom, and she stopped thinking about anything but him.


	2. Chapter Two

Claire startled awake the lingering images of Neil dying in a hospital bed stealing her breath away. She turned to look at him and took comfort in the steady rise and fall of his chest. In her dream, he was bleeding internally, and they had realized it too late. They had confessed their love to each other, and then she had rested her head against his chest, staying with him as he had taken his last breath. Shaken, she carefully climbed out of the bed and pulled on his shirt. She quietly walked around to his side of the bed, grateful that he didn’t have the comforter pulled up. She eyed the bruise on his side and was glad to see it looked the same as it had the night before, not spreading as it had in her dream.

She didn’t regret that they had sought comfort with each other, but she realized that it wasn’t the smartest thing for them to do when he was injured. She stood over him again watching the rise and fall of his chest. Her eyes drifted to his tattoo and she wanted to reach out and touch him but didn’t want to wake him. She needed to get herself together first. Deciding that she needed coffee she left his room and went to the kitchen.

She hoped he wouldn’t mind her helping herself. She glanced over at her bag that was still sitting by the door. She thought about getting her pajamas but liked the way it felt to have Neil’s shirt on. She looked around the apartment, not at all surprised to see it was just as organized and clutter free as his office. She wondered what he would think of the organized chaos of her apartment.

She went to his coffee maker and frowned. There were way too many settings and buttons for a normal machine. She rolled her eyes, of course he had to have something fancy. Afraid that she would break it, she reached for a glass and filled it with water. It would have to do until he got up. She drank all the water and then refilled the glass. She knew they needed to talk about what had happened last night, but she was nervous. The loss of Kayla was always there, but it was even more present when all she wanted to do was call her for her advice. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what her friend would tell her. She would probably tell her to trust in Neil and let herself be happy. She wanted to more than anything, but she worried if he wanted a real relationship, especially with the challenges at work. He was a gifted surgeon and a wonderful man, he could do so much better than her. She sighed as she realized that she was hiding from him and decided to return to his room.

She tried to be quiet, but she saw his eyes open.

“Sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t.” He hesitated before saying, “I thought you had left.”

She paused on her way to the bed. She wondered if she should’ve left instead of getting water. “Do you want me to?”

“No.”

She climbed back into the bed beside him. She drew the comforter over her legs as she leaned against the headboard. He sat up, moving the pillows to match her position against the headboard.

She handed him her glass, “I was going to make coffee, but your coffee maker is insane.”

He laughed as he took a drink. “It’s not that bad once you know how to use it. I’ll show you later.” He placed the glass on his nightstand.

“Last night,” she glanced down as she started playing with a string on the comforter.

She wished that she could read his mind and know what he was thinking. After last night, she didn’t want them to go back to being just friends, but she needed to know what he wanted. She was afraid to expose too much of her feelings and be rejected.

“Last night was incredible,” she said looking at him.

“Of course, it was.”

She rolled her eyes as she fought back a smile. “You’re impossible.”

Despite everything, she loved how he was always able to make her feel better and more settled. It gave her the courage to ask her next question.

“Do you regret it?” she asked softly.

“No,” he answered immediately. “Do you?”

“No.” She glanced down at his chest and gave into the temptation to run her fingers over the antlers of his tattoo. “What were you thinking when you got this?”

He reached up and took her hand in his, pressing it against his chest. “Is that really what you want to talk about right now?”

One day she would want to hear all about the significance of his tattoos, but she knew that would just be a distraction from what they needed to talk about. Thinking of her dream, she pulled her hand from his and gently caressed his side as her hand traveled down to the bruise. She pressed against his side and he flinched.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

He reached for her hand again. “As long as you don’t poke at it, I’m fine.” He reached out and tucked her hair back behind her ear. He caressed her face encouraging her to look at him. “Trust me. I had a brilliant doctor taking care of me.”

“I thought I was going to lose you,” she said softly. “When you collapsed,” her voice shook, and her eyes filled with tears. “Neil, I haven’t been that scared in a long time.”

All the fears and emotions that she had been holding back came spilling out as the tears streamed down her face.

“Come here,” he said. He pulled on her hand and she went willingly into his arms. She cried against him as he gently rubbed her back. “I’m fine, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t lose you.”

He pressed a kiss against her head. “You won’t,” he said. “You’re going to be stuck with me for a long time.”

“I’m sorry,” she said as she pulled away wiping at her eyes, embarrassed that she had lost control. “I didn’t mean to cry all over you.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said softly, gently wiping away her tears.

“Last night wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been hurt,” she admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re my boss,” she said. “We both said that we were just friends.”

“We did,” he agreed. “Is that still what you want?” He looked her in the eye and asked, “Do you want this to be a one-time thing or something more?”

She hadn’t expected him to come right out and ask the question. She wanted this to be something more, had wanted that since even before the earthquake, but couldn’t admit that to anyone but her therapist. But she needed to know his feelings as well, they needed to see what they both wanted. She was afraid that it wouldn’t be the same.

“That’s not a decision for me to make.”

“Why not?”

“That’s something we have to decide together.”

He took her hand. “I want to do what you want.”

She pulled her hand away. “Don’t do that.”.

“Do what?” he asked his confusion clear in his eyes.

“Act like what you want doesn’t matter and putting everyone else’s needs in front of your own.”

“I don’t.”

“You do it all the time,” she said, unable to mask her frustration. “After the earthquake, you were willing to keep working even though you were hurt. You operated on Marta injured.”

“It’s my job.”

“You do it with me. Pushing me towards Dash.”

“I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”

“Don’t you see,” she reached out and caressed his face. She realized they both just wanted the other to be happy even at the expense of their own happiness. “You deserve to be happy too.”

“Seeing you happy makes me happy.”

She rolled her eyes. “So, if I told you, that last night was the only time we would sleep together, you’d be okay with that?”

Even asking the question hurt. She needed to hear his answer. She needed to know what he really wanted. She didn’t want him to agree to something just because she wanted it.

“Neil, what do you want?”

“I want you.”

She looked at him in surprise and couldn’t help but smile at him. She was so relieved that he felt the same way that she did.

“I want you too,” she admitted. “And not just for one night.” She let him pull her back into his arms. She confessed, “I told my therapist that I had fallen in love with my boss.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I just did,” she said kissing him.

“I love you too.”

A feeling of peace washed over her as she settled against him. His wrapped his arm around her to hold her close. She rested her head against his chest as she focused on the fact that he was okay and that they were going to be together.

She moved her hand down towards the bruise on his side. “How bad is the pain?”

He brushed a kiss to her forehead. “Stop worrying.”

“That bad?” she asked. She felt guilty that they had sex the night before when he was injured. He could’ve hurt himself even more. “Do you want to go back to the hospital?”

“As much as I enjoyed having you run every test imaginable on me, I’m fine. It hurts about as much as I’d expect.”

She sat up so she could look at him better to check his eyes for any pain or any indication that things were worse than he was saying.

“What is it?” he asked.

She realized that she wouldn’t be able to hide anything from him. “I had a dream last night that things went differently.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

She thought of the lingering imagine of him taking his last breath and shook her head. She needed to trust that he was going to be okay.

“Claire, I intend to be by your side for a long time.”

She thought it would be overwhelming hearing him make that promise, but it made her feel better. Again, she thought about Kayla and knew her friend would be happy that she wasn’t running away from happiness with him.

“Good,” she said softly. She pressed a kiss against his chest. “What are we going to do about work?”

“Nothing today,” he said. “When I get back, I’ll talk to Audrey. I think it would be better if I talk to her alone, that way we can figure out what the plan will be.”

“Will that be awkward for you?”

“No,” he said. “It was rough when we first ended things, but we’re back to being friends, which is all we should’ve been.” He squeezed her against him. “Is it going to be awkward for you?”

“That your ex is also my boss?” she asked. “Not at all.”

“You’d tell me if it was?”

“Of course,” she said. “I’ll admit that it might be weird, but it should be fine.”

“So, I’ll talk to Audrey…” He was cut off by her stomach growling loudly. He laughed, “Maybe we need to feed you first before we talk about this.”

She shrugged. “I am starving.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He nudged her off him. “When’s the last time you ate?”

She made a face. She knew she grabbed a granola bar at some point the day before, but with making sure he was okay, and all the other patients from the earthquake, eating hadn’t been a priority. She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to say something but seemed to decide against it. Instead he climbed out of bed pulling on some sweatpants.

When they got to the kitchen, she pointed to the coffee maker, “You get that thing started and I’ll make you breakfast.”

“I thought you said you didn’t cook.”

“I don’t, usually.”

“Let me help.”

“Your job is coffee and then sitting down. You should be resting today.”

“So bossy,” he said smiling as he kissed her.

She pulled up a recipe for pancakes on her phone and started to mix the batter. As she started cooking them, she wasn’t sure what she was doing wrong. As the smell of burnt pancakes filled the air, Neil moved beside her, glancing down in the pan.

“I didn’t survive an earthquake for you to kill me with your cooking,” he teased, nudging her out of the way as he handed her a cup of coffee. 

“I tried.”

“I’m actually impressed. How are they raw and burnt?” he asked taking the pan from her and throwing out the pancakes.

“I have no idea.” She took a sip of coffee. “Sorry.”

He kissed her forehead. “I like that there’s something else you’re not good at.”

“What else am I not good at?”

“Bowling.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not that bad.”

His eyes sparkled with amusement. “You might be the worst I’ve ever seen.”

“Well I don’t like your tattoo,” she said without any bite, “Too much antler.”

He laughed as he worked on making them breakfast. She stood watching him and realized that she was ridiculously happy. He moved around the kitchen with the same ease and confidence as he did in the OR. Once he was done with the pancakes, they sat at the counter to eat. Since he ended up making breakfast, she cleaned up the dishes sending him to the go rest on the sofa. 

Once she was finished cleaning up, she joined him on the sofa, and curled against his side.

“I’ve thought of this before,” he said, playing with her hair.

“Me too.”

“I didn’t like when you started seeing Dash,” he admitted. “I wanted you to be happy, but it killed me that it couldn’t be with me.”

She wasn’t sure if this was the right time to tell him, but she said, “I followed your advice and kissed him.” His fingers stilled in her hair. “And it,” she paused to think of the best way to describe it. “It wasn’t good. It helped me see that you were the right guy.”

“Does it make me a bad person that I’m glad you didn’t enjoy it?”

She laughed. “I don’t think so.”

They spent the rest of the day curled up against each other talking about what they wanted from their relationship together. She knew when they returned to work and shared the change things would be different, but for now she was content to simply be with him. She was so grateful that he was okay and that they were together.


	3. Chapter Three

Claire had to return to work the next day. She wasn’t happy that she had to leave Neil alone, even though she knew that he was fine. She had another nightmare that he hadn’t survived. She had kept it to herself, not wanting to worry him, but she thought he knew by how tightly she had hugged him as he made breakfast. She enjoyed the quiet time with him and looked forward to many more mornings together.

Through the next few days while she was at work and he was stuck at home, she would text him about her day, about the patients, and even share ideas with him. A few times she was caught smiling as she texted him, and Shaun wanted to know what had made her look so happy. Since they wanted to keep things quiet until Neil had spoken to Audrey, she tried her best to avoid the questions. After work, she would go over to his place and share more about her day. They enjoyed lounging together and continued talking about what they wanted for their future together.

She was glad when it was finally time for him to return to work, even though he was frustrated that they would be keeping him on light duty. She was also nervous about what would happen once he shared that they were together. Even just being together a few days, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to the way things were before. She hadn’t shared with him yet that she had started researching the nearby hospitals just in case. She would transfer if she had to in order to keep him in her life. She just hoped that it wouldn’t be necessary.

He seemed to sense her apprehension about the day and worked to ease her nerves by asking her questions about the surgery she was scheduled to do with Alex and Dr. Andrews. By giving her something else to focus on, she couldn’t think about how it would go when he spoke to Dr. Lim. They had already decided that they would drive separately. She hadn’t been home since that first night at his place and planned to go there after her shift. She mentioned it to him, hoping that he would want to come over later. He had kissed her before she left, whispering that he loved her. She had tightened her arms around him letting him know that she loved him too. She knew no matter what happened, they would find a way to make it work. 

The drive to the hospital was a familiar one and she sang along to the radio as she went. She quickly put her things in the locker room before heading to the lounge. Alex was already there looking over the file for their surgery. He had just gotten back after taking a few days off after the earthquake to be with his family.

Settling into the seat across from him, she asked, “How are you doing?”

She could still see some of the haunted look from when she spoke to him on the balcony. She worried about him. He always seemed to be so strong, but she knew how much the death at the brewery had shaken him.

Sighing, he answered, “I’m okay. It was hard to leave them. We’re trying to figure out what we should do.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to be with them. I don’t want to miss any more of Kellan’s life. But I’ve also put so much time and effort into this program, that I don’t want the time I did miss to be waste.”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “Could they come here?”

“I don’t want to uproot their lives.” He ran his hand over his eyes. “But the surgical program in the hospital near them is no where near as good as here.”

She wondered if he should’ve taken more time off to deal with everything.

“I’ll help you anyway I can,” she said. “Maybe there is a way they would let fix your schedule so you have a few days off in a row where you could go spend more time with them. It’s not perfect, but it might let you finish here and still see them.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about that. Mia doesn’t want me making any rash decisions. She doesn’t want me to regret it.” He sighed again. “Like I would regret being by their side.” He looked up at her. “How are you doing? Last time I saw you, you looked exhausted.”

She rolled her eyes, “Thanks.”

“How’s Dr. Melendez? I heard he was back today.”

“Just for light duty,” she answered, then regretted it. She wondered if he would question why she knew that.

“Anything new with you, that you want to share?” he asked with a smile.

He had been honest with her and had let her see a more vulnerable side to him. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she also didn’t want to share anything until Neil had spoken with Dr. Lim.

“Not yet.”

He leaned back in his chair his smile growing. “That means there is something to share.”

“No,” she reached for the file, “Is everything ready for the surgery?”

“I’m happy for you, if you’re happy,” he said sliding it over to her. “Just be careful.” 

“Thank you.”

“Let’s go get our patient prepped.”

“Alex,” she said as they both stood. “Don’t say anything to anyone.”

“I won’t as long as you don’t share that I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

“Deal.”

With a smile, they both walked out of the lounge to get ready for surgery. Everything went smoothly and she was grateful to know that Alex supported her. She knew it had been rough during the favoritism complaint, but she knew with the earthquake his perspective changed. After the surgery, they ended up in the ER. They didn’t have a very exciting day there, which Claire was glad about. She felt butterflies around the time she knew that Neil was supposed to be in his meeting. She hoped that everything went well. Best case, they wouldn’t be able to work together anymore, worst case, she would need to transfer.

When her shift was over, she texted him to let him know that she was leaving and that he was welcome to come over and could bring dinner if he wanted. She was home and changed when she got his response that he would be over and would surprise her with dinner. He didn’t mention how the meeting went and she didn’t ask. She was looking forward to seeing him, and stood by the door so she could open it as soon as he came in. She kissed him before taking the bag of food and leading him into the kitchen to eat.

She wondered how he felt about her cozy apartment compared to his. He was more organized than her. She tended to think she was an organized mess. She knew where everything was, it just might take her a minute to get to it. By an unspoken agreement, they decided not to talk about his meeting until after they ate. They shared about their day. Leaving out her conversation with Alex, she told him about the surgery and the patients she saw in the ER. He complained about being on light duty and looked forward to getting back into the OR. After cleaning up their meal, they made their way over to the sofa. She settled next to him, keeping a little space between them, instead of curling up against him as she had been at his place.

“How’d it go?” she asked.

He reached for her hand. “She wants us to take the next week to make sure that this is what we want. She’s going to start seeing who your new attending will be.”

“I can’t stay with her or Dr. Andrews?” she asked disappointed.

“Audrey thinks it would be better if you’re not associated with me at work at all. She thinks it would help others feeling as if you’ve had an unfair advantage.”

She sighed. “That makes sense.”

She wasn’t surprised that she wouldn’t be able to work with him anymore, but she hadn’t thought about the others. She was disappointed. She enjoyed working with all of them, even if Neil was her favorite. She wondered who she would work with but pushed that thought away for now.

“She also mentioned that you would be possibly be out of the running as chief resident.” He reached out and caressed her face. “Are you okay with that?”

“Of course, I wanted it,” she answered honestly, everyone wanted the chance to be the chief resident, “But it is a lot more of the administrative side of things, and I’d rather be in the OR.”

“Audrey’s mainly worried about the consequences for you. You’re going to have to deal with more of the gossip and people doubting your talent.” She sat quietly taking in his words, wondering if he was about to tell her that he changed his mind. “You’ve worked incredibly hard to get to this point in your career, and I don’t want anyone to take that away from you.”

She wasn’t sure if he was simply telling her everything they had discussed or if he wasn’t sure that their relationship would be worth the consequences. She knew that he would put her happiness in front of his own and hoped that he realized that she was happiest with him.

“Do you really need a week?” she asked softly. “Are you planning on changing your mind?”

“No,” he answered, and she was filled with relief. “I would’ve gone to HR today. I want this, but I don’t want to mess things up for you.”

“I don’t need a week either.” She moved closer to him and took his hand in hers, interlacing their fingers together. “I know it’s going to be challenging at work. I know that people are going to question if you helped me along the way.”

“Anyone who thinks that doesn’t know you.”

She smiled, his unwavering belief in her always made her feel amazing. “I had to fight to get to this place, and I plan to fight just as hard to make it work with you.” She usually struggled with sharing her feelings, but he had been honest about his fears of damaging her career, she had to let him know that she thought it was worth it. “ When you got hurt, I thought about what my life would be like without you and I don’t want that. I love you, and nothing is going to change that.”

“I love you too, which is why I wanted to make sure you were okay with how things will be at work.”

“It sucks,” she said truthfully, “But it will be worth it.” She leaned forward and kissed him. “Why did you agree to the week?”

“I didn’t want to do anything without talking to you first and I figured that would at least give us a few more days before the whole hospital is in our business.”

“Maybe you should’ve asked for two weeks then,” she said smiling as she kissed him again. It would’ve been nice to keep their little bubble a little while longer.

He laughed. “Too bad I didn’t think of that.”

She moved so she could rest her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her.

“I don’t want to hide this,” she said softly. “I am nervous about how the others will react, but I don’t want to run away from happiness with you.”

He drew her closer. “I don’t want that either. Will you tell me if anyone gives you a hard time?”

“No,” she answered honestly. “I think we’re going to have to agree that we’re not going to always be able to share everything that happens at work with each other.”

She thought about what Alex had shared with her earlier, and she couldn’t break his confidence. She knew that Neil would be able to offer him some support, but it wasn’t her place to tell the boss that Alex was thinking of leaving.

“I hate that.”

“I don’t like it either, but it’s too risky. You’re still the boss, if I tell you something that someone did or said, you have the power to make things difficult for them.” She sat up so she could look at him. “You and I both know that you would never do that, but it’s not worth anyone even thinking about it.”

“I know you’re right.”

“Of course, I am.”

“Just promise if things get really bad that you’ll tell me something, even if you can’t tell me exactly what happened.”

“Okay,” she agreed, even though she knew that she most likely wouldn’t be able to tell him anything.

“Even if this is a little complicated, we’re still a team.”

“I love being on a team with you,” she said unable to stop the smile at his words. “I don’t think Shaun, Morgan, or Alex are going to be too surprised.”

“Probably not.”

She leaned back on the sofa thinking about their first year of residency. “I’m sure Shaun’s going to remind me of when he accused me of flirting with you.”

“What?” he asked, “When was that?”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said quickly, sorry that she even brought it up.

“Tell me. Why did he think you were flirting?”

She rolled her eyes. “He had asked for help in how to tell if someone was flirting so I told him. He later told me that I displayed those behaviors with you.

“And what were those behaviors?” he asked. She felt her face heat up in embarrassment. “And how did I not realize this?”

“Because I wasn’t flirting.” She made a face. “At least not intentionally.”

He brought her back into his arms. “You’re going to have to show me.”

“No,” she laughed, knowing that she probably would eventually. “I really don’t.”

“If you’re not going to show me that,” he asked as she settled against him. “What about playing that guitar?” He pointed to her guitar propped against the wall.

She shook her head against his shoulder. The familiar anxiety of playing in front of someone building. Even though it was Neil and she knew that she could trust him more than anyone, she still was thrust back into her memories of all the times her mother forced her to play in front of an audience.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I don’t like to play in front of people,” she said softly, not wanting to ruin their night by sharing why.

“Okay,” he said, turning to press his lips against her forehead. 

She loved him even more for simply taking her at her word and not pushing it like so many other people had done to her. And in that moment, she knew that one day she would play for him, maybe even sing for him. She wasn’t ready yet, but she knew one day she would. Or at least maybe let him hear her from a different room.

She closed her eyes as he gently caressed her arm. She could get used to being in his arms every night. She knew that once everyone at the hospital knew it might be different, but for now she was content to simply be with him.


	4. Chapter Four

It had been two months since everything changed for Claire. She had no doubt that being in a relationship with Neil was what she wanted. They were both passionate, stubborn people and there were a few bumps in the road that they had to work through. They had a solid friendship to start their relationship and knew each other very well, but there was still more to learn. Claire had difficulty at times communicating with him and to really trust things between them. In her experience, happiness didn’t always last, and for a while she expected him to realize that he had a made a mistake. She continued seeing her therapist and was able to work through these issues. She was lucky Neil was so patient with her.

She felt honored when Neil wanted her to come with him when visited with his sister Gabbi. Claire had been incredibly nervous meeting her as she knew how important his sister was to him. It took a little while for Gabbi to warm up to her, but after a while she liked to tease him that Gabbi liked her more. Meeting his parents was a little more complicated. She knew that while he loved both his parents, their treatment of Gabbi left their relationship strained. The meeting had gone well, and when Neil’s mother had taken him into the other room, Claire was able to talk more with his father and learn more about when Neil was younger. She had fun teasing him about his wild youth.

The changes at work were manageable for the most part. It was difficult being pulled from her friends and the attendings she was used to working with. At first, they had put her and Neil on conflicting shifts. She was on the night shift and he was during the day. They only got to see each other for a brief period of time. Not that she mentioned it to him, but she wondered if they had done it purpose to see how serious they were about each other or if they wanted to see if she failed without him there to support her. Eventually, their shifts started to get better. Even though she would have to be there hours earlier than him, and he was there hours later, they would still get time together at night. She was so used to seeing him all the time that it was an adjustment.

She missed working with her group of residents. She still tried to make time to see them all, especially Shaun. When Neil had teased her about needing to break up so Shaun would stop being a jerk, she decided to reach out to him so he knew that they could still be friends even if they couldn’t work together. She made a point of making sure to see him during the day so they could talk. She still talked with both Morgan and Alex, seeing them outside of work occasionally. Alex was happy for her, but also concerned about the impact of her relationship on her career. He had decided to stay at the hospital to finish his residency but was flying home to see his family as often as he could. Morgan came around to the idea of Claire’s relationship with Neil, once she was certain Claire hadn’t gotten any special privileges.

Working with Dr. Wallace was fine as he was close to Neil in skill, not that anyone would ever be as good as him. She didn’t enjoy working with the other residents Dr. Green and Dr. Jackson. She had been nervous about what their reaction would be, especially if they knew she was being moved because of Neil. She thought at first that Dr. Wallace didn’t like her much, but as she worked with him more and showed him what she could do, she noticed that he began to ask her more questions and wanted her option on cases. He had surprised her by asking if her relationship with Neil was worth it. Without hesitation, she had said yes.

Dr. Green and Dr. Jackson were another story. From the first day she worked with them, there was a different atmosphere than with her original group. At first, she thought maybe they just didn’t like that they had someone new to compete with, but as she overheard them talking about her, more than once, and how they felt she must have gotten to this point in her residency by sleeping with Neil, she realized it was more than that.

Things with her and Neil were good, but she did wish that she could vent to him more about what was going on at work. It had taken her a while to realize it, but Green and Jackson were working to undermine her. For a few weeks she had been having to convince her patients of tests and procedures that they had already signed off on. At first, she had thought that it was just their nerves and that they wanted to make sure it was the right course of action. A few of the nurses told her that Green and Jackson had been seen leaving the room. She hadn’t realized what they were doing until a patient told her that two other gentlemen had spoken to her questioning Claire’s diagnosis. Thankfully, the patient was supportive and voiced their concern that her coworkers were working against her.

Her first desire had been to go to Neil. She wanted to tell him everything, have him hold her and tell her the best way to handle them. But as she pulled out her phone to text him, she realized that was the worst things she could do. If she complained to Neil, he would say something to Dr. Lim, and then it would look like Claire couldn’t handle the work without Neil sticking up for her. If her patient satisfactory scores dropped, then they would again question if he had helped her out. Frustrated, she knew that she would have no choice but to deal with them on her own.

She had realized a few weeks ago what they were doing and had put a few strategies in place to deal with them. Sometimes she told the patients’ what tests she wanted to do or what surgical procedure was necessary but wouldn’t tell them why. That way when she was called back to their rooms after Green and Jackson, she would be able to justify her diagnosis. It still caused her to spend extra time with her patients, but she didn’t feel like that was necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes she did the opposite and spent more time at the beginning to gain the patients’ trust. A few of the nurses seemed to have figured out what they were doing as well and started to give her a heads up when they saw them going into a patients’ room.

It was exhausting, but every night she got to go home and be with Neil, and that made everything worth it. She didn’t know how Green and Jackson were able to deal with sabotaging her when they should be working on their own patients. She sometimes checked in on their patients, just to make sure no one would be hurt by their actions.

Thankfully, her shift was almost over. She was in the ER, while Green and Jackson were giving another patient an MRI. She was glad that she could get away from them for a while. Dr. Wallace was called to a meeting and he trusted her to continue without him, knowing that she could handle it and would contact him if there was a serious issue. She was curious about what meeting he would be going to but pushed the thought away so she could continue her job.

At the end of her shift, she was exhausted from dealing with the other residents and the influx of patients in the ER. Thankfully nothing serious happened. She had wanted to ask Dr. Wallace if everything was okay when he returned from his meeting. She didn’t think that she had ever seen him look angry like that before. She finally made her way to the locker room to get her things, and texted Neil to let him know that she was leaving and was going to stop at the store before going to his place.

Officially, she hadn’t moved in with him yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She spent more time with him at his place than she had been at hers. At first, she had tried to conform to his level of neatness and be organized like him, but eventually she gave up and told him he was just going to have to deal with some mess. He never complained so she thought he didn’t mind too much.

She picked up the groceries from the store as well as something she could throw in the oven for dinner. The only time she attempted to cook anything was if Neil was there with her when he tried to teach her to cook. It still wasn’t her favorite thing to do, but his presence made it so much better.

After carrying the bags inside, she turned on some music to sing to while she put the groceries away. Neil had heard her sing a few times, but usually by accident. She had explained to him why she hated to sing in front of people and how her mother had made her do it for years. He had simply taken her in his arms and told her he would never expect her to do something that made her uncomfortable, but that he hoped she knew he thought she was incredibly talented. She got lost in the music as she sang along.

She turned around and jumped when she saw him standing there leaning against the counter. He laughed at having scared her as she turned off the music.

“You don’t have to stop because I’m here,” he said with a grin.

“How long were you there?” she asked feeling her face flush with embarrassment

“Not long.”

“Next time say something,” she said as her heartrate settled after the scare.

“I was enjoying the show,” he said, with a smile.

“Whatever you say,” she said, rolling her eyes, although she did enjoy the way he was looking at her.

“Do you need any help?”

“I’m all done.”

He glanced at the oven. “Did you make dinner?” he asked.

“I bought something from the store and put it in the oven, does that count as making dinner?” she asked as she walked over to him wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Less chance of food poisoning that way,” he teased pulling her close to him.

“Funny,” she said as she closed the distance between them to kiss him. “How was your day?”

“It was fine,” he said. “How about you?”

“It was good. Dr. Wallace might not be as good as you, but I’m still learning a lot from him.”

“Are you happy?” he asked softly.

“Idiotically happy,” she grinned as she kissed him. “You?”

“Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

“Good,” she said.

She knew sometimes that it was hard for him that they couldn’t discuss everything at work. And she knew if he came right out and asked her about work, she would have a hard time lying to him. Thankfully, he seemed to realize that and was careful in the questions he asked. He led her towards the sofa, pulling her down towards him. As her lips met his, she again thought about how it was all worth it.


	5. Chapter Five

Claire heard her alarm go off and groaned as she snuggled closer to Neil. She knew that he would turn it off for her and she could continue to stay comfortable in his embrace.

“Thanks,” she mumbled once it was off.

She shivered as he ran his hand against her back. “Someone had to do it. It didn’t seem like you want to move.”

“I’m comfortable.” They went through the same thing every morning. He was generally much more awake than she was, and she preferred to stay in his arms if possible. She had a few more minutes until her second alarm went off that meant it was really time to get up.

“You can always call in and say you’ll be late.”

“Don’t tempt me,” she said thinking about what waited for her at the hospital.

“Dr. Browne thinking about missing work,” he teased. “I’m shocked.”

She pressed a kiss against his chest before looking up at him. “For you I’d consider it.”

He leaned forward to kiss her. “I feel honored.”

She smiled, glad that he knew he was the only reason she would miss any work. “What does your day look like?”

“I have a few surgeries scheduled, how about you?”

“Nothing scheduled, I think we’re in the ER,” she said disappointed, at least if there were surgeries scheduled, she wouldn’t have to be concerned with what Green and Jackson had planned. 

“Maybe something will happen there.”

She rested her head back against his chest and he continued to rub her back.

“I’ll have to fight the others for anything interesting.”

“I’d put money on you winning,” he said. He hesitated and she wondered if he knew something about what was happening at work. “Are things going okay with the other residents?”

“Things are fine,” she said as she brought her hand up and gently traced over the outline of his tattoo. She wanted to tell him everything, but settled on saying, “They’re just annoying.”

“Annoying like Shaun or Morgan?”

“Their own special kind of annoying.”

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “I can handle them.”

He started to say something, but her second alarm went off. She kissed him again and reluctantly climbed out of bed. He reached for her hand and pulled her back towards him.

“If they get more than just annoying, I want you tell me.”

She leaned forward capturing his lips again. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her back into bed. She again wondered if he knew more than what he was telling her.

“I promise if it gets worse, you’ll be the third person I tell.”

“Third?”

“Dr. Lim and Dr. Wallace would be first.” She kissed him again. “Anyway, some annoyance is worth it to be able to do that,” she said honestly as she pulled away. “I have to get ready or I’ll be late.”

Even though Neil didn’t have to be at the hospital for a few more hours, he got up when she did. They enjoyed a quiet morning together. She was jealous that he got to go back to bed when she left for work. She drove to work wondering what kind of day she was going to have. She almost hoped for a quiet day in the ER so she wouldn’t have to be on guard with Green and Jackson.

Once at work, she put her things away in the locker room before checking in with Dr. Wallace to make sure there were no changes to the schedule. She had the feeling that he wanted to say something to her before she left, but he didn’t. She went to the ER and dealt with the various patients. She spoke with a young woman who was there with her parents. She explained the necessary tests to determine the cause of her symptoms as well as potential outcomes. After putting in the orders for the tests, she was able to talk with some of the nurses as well.

She looked up just in time to see Green and Jackson enter the room she had left not even five minutes ago. She took a deep breath trying to keep her frustration and anger at bay. The nurses she was talking to looked at her with sympathy. She was grateful to have their support.

“Want me to go get them and direct them to their own patients?”

Claire shook her head, knowing that would only make it worse. “That’s okay. I’ll wait about twenty minutes and tell them again why my plan is the right one.”

Another nurse that Claire didn’t recognize came over to them, “Have you seen Dr. Green or Dr. Jackson?” she asked. “Their patient is complaining that their symptoms are getting worse.”

She was about to ask about their patient when she heard the alarm for a code. She rushed with the other nurses into the room of their patient. She moved quickly, asking what the symptoms had been. Thankfully, she was able to get things stable just as Dr. Wallace walked in.

“What’s going on?”

She knew she could take this opportunity to tell him just what had been happening with Green and Jackson and saw that the nurses were waiting for her to do just that.

“We were at the nurses’ station when he started coding.” She continued to list the symptoms and told him what she thought they would need to do.

That patient’s wife looked shaken by what had just occurred. “Thank you,” she said tearfully. “Two other doctors were here earlier, but we haven’t seen them for a while.”

She saw a flash of anger in Dr. Wallace’s eyes before he told her that since she made the diagnosis, she would be assisting him on the aortic dissention repair. Things moved quickly after that. It was a difficult surgery and Claire was glad to get to take part on it. At one point during the procedure, she felt like Neil was watching her. She was tempted to check the gallery but didn’t want to take the chance that she would make a mistake. It was a long surgery, but thankfully it was a success.

“Nice work,” Dr. Wallace said as they scrubbed out.

“Thank you,” she said. “I apricate the chance to assist you.”

Just like earlier, she had the feeling that he wanted to say more, but instead he told her he would see her later. Since it was nearing the end of her shift, she went to the nurses’ station to see what had happened with her earlier patient. She read through her test results and checked in on her to see if her or her parents had any questions. As she left the room, she bumped into Jackson. Claire prepared herself for him to be upset that she got to take part in the surgery for his patient.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Jackson asked.

“Of course,” she said as they moved off to the side for some privacy. She saw that the few nurses nearby were watching.

“Thank you for taking care of our patient,” he said, surprising her. “If you hadn’t been close by the outcome might have been much different.”

“I was lucky to be nearby.”

“I think we got off on the wrong foot with each, I’d like to start over. Maybe next shift we can work together.”

It was probably as much of an acknowledgement that she was going to get about what they had been doing. She wasn’t sure she completely trusted him, but she would at least give them a chance.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

She sighed as he walked away. She really hoped that this was the wake-up call that Green and Jackson needed that they were here to save people, not sabotage each other. She hoped it would be the beginning of a change. She stopped by the nurses’ station to say goodbye and to let them know everything was fine.

As she walked towards the locker room to get her things, she was looking forward to going home. Neil wouldn’t be there until later, but she was thinking of taking a nice relaxing bath before he got there. Or maybe even waiting until he got home to see if he wanted to join her.

“Dr. Browne,” Dr. Lim called. Claire stopped and waited for her. “Great job with the surgery today.”

“Thanks,” she said.

“Neil and I were watching for a while.”

She fought back a smile. She knew she had felt his presence during the surgery.

“I’m glad that I was close by when he was in distress.”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’ve been impressed with the way you’ve handled this situation.”

She knew then that Dr. Lim was aware of what Green and Jackson had been doing. She wondered if Neil and Dr. Wallace knew too. She decided to continue to downplay what had been happening. She was able to handle it and didn’t want anyone else getting involved. She was reminded of the conversation they two of them had when Claire had told her she was nervous about her first surgery. She had told her to never tell anyone. She felt as if that advice worked in this situation as well.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“I also wanted to tell you that we miss working with you. If things continue, maybe we will be able to have you work with us occasionally.”

“I’d like that.”

Dr. Lim placed her hand on Claire’s shoulder. “Keep up the good work and remember you can come talk to me if you need to.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I told you we need to stick together.”

“Thanks.”

They said goodbye, and Claire continued her way to the locker room. Realizing that it was empty, she sat down on the bench and decided to do something she’d never done before at work. She pulled out her phone and sent Neil a message to see if he was free. His response was immediate asking her if she was okay. She smiled as she pictured the concern on his face. She responded back that she was fine and getting ready to leave, the locker room was empty, and she thought she could see him before she left. He answered that he would be there in five minutes. She packed up her things as she waited.

She heard the locker room door open and looked up as Neil walked down the aisle. She stood up as he came closer and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. His arms went around her waist holding her to him.

“What was that for?” he asked with a grin.

“I heard you were watching me in surgery.”

“How do you know I was watching you? Maybe I just wanted to see how Adam handled the procedure.” He turned them so he could push her against the lockers. He kissed her again. “I’m proud of you,” he said as he kissed down her neck. 

They heard someone else open the door and broke apart breathlessly.

“We’ll finish this when you get home,” she said playing with the buttons on his shirt.

“I can’t wait.” 

Glancing around, he saw they were still alone in the aisle, he kissed her quickly before heading back to finish his shift. She couldn’t wait until they were both at home. 


	6. Chapter Six

In the six months since the challenges at work had improved, Claire felt that her relationship with Neil had gotten stronger. Jackson and Green finally seemed to realize that she was not the enemy and that the three of them could work together. Dr. Lim had occasionally allowed her to work with Neil and the others to brainstorm ideas on tricky cases. She still wasn’t allowed in the OR with him, but she was okay with that. It seemed that it was accepted by most at the hospital that they were together, and their relationship had no bearing on their ability to do their job.

A few months ago, Claire had officially moved in with Neil. Not much changed because she already spent most of her time with him, but she liked knowing that this was their home together. Being with him brought her a peace that she had never had before. Even though they had disagreements, she never doubted his love or devotion. Both of them knew that their relationship was meant to last.

After a few challenging days, Claire went out with Morgan, Alex, and a few other of the residents. She had invited Neil to come as her boyfriend not the boss, but he had declined. She understood his reasoning and concerns that the others wouldn’t have as much fun if their boss was there. If it had only been Morgan, Alex, and Shaun, he would’ve gone. She was disappointed not to have him by her side.

At the bar, she spent most of her time with Morgan. They spent their time catching up and sharing drinks. Morgan had recently broken up with the guy she was seeing, so she was getting them both plenty of shots and drinks. Morgan was trying to find someone else at the bar to take home with her. Claire soon realized that others had the same goals. Once Morgan found someone that she was interested in, Claire moved to sit next to Alex.

“This used to be more fun,” she said, taking a drink.

“I agree,” he laughed. “I’m going to go soon. Mia’s here for a visit and I want to spend more time with her.”

“Why didn’t you bring her?”

“Why didn’t you bring Melendez?”

She gestured to the other residents drinking and dancing, “He didn’t think they would like having him here.”

“You really think they’d notice?”

“Good point,” she said. “I’ll make him come next time if you bring Mia.”

He tapped his glass against hers. “Deal.”

They spent a little more time talking with each other. Once she started to feel a little bit tipsy, she knew she wanted to head home. She went to tell Morgan she was leaving and wanted to make sure she was safe. She got an uber home, looking forward to seeing Neil and knowing that he was there waiting for her. 

She went inside and dropped her things by the door. The room spun a little as she bent over to take her shoes off. She walked into the living room and saw him lounging on the sofa reading. She felt the usual pleasure at seeing him. She wanted to be closer to him and walked over to him. As he lifted the book out of the way, she laid down on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled closer to him.

“You’re home early,” he said.

“Everyone else was trying to find someone to take home. I already have you.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I could’ve come to get you.”

She shook her head against his chest. “I liked the idea of coming home to you.” She tried to get even closer to him. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“Sounds like you’re turning into a sap.”

“That’s your fault,” she mumbled.

She was comfortable in his arms. She felt safe and knew that she wanted to be able to come home to him for the rest of her life.

“We should get married,” she said knowing without a doubt that was what she wanted.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” he asked clearly amused.

She rested her chin on his chest so she could look up at him. “Telling you. We both know that’s what we want.”

She thought of how far they had come together and how grateful she was that they were together. She thought briefly of her friend Kayla and how proud she would be of Claire, especially knowing that she had been the one to bring up getting married first.

“We can talk about that tomorrow,” he said softly. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“No,” she said, snuggling back against him. “I’m good here.”

He moved his arms from around her and gently nudged her off him. “We’ll be more comfortable in bed.”

Rolling her eyes, she stood. She felt a little dizzy standing up, but Neil was right there to keep her steady. He placed his arm around her waist and lead her towards the bedroom. He got her some Tylenol and water and she climbed into bed. As soon as he joined her, she moved next to him and snuggled closer to him.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, pulling her closer.

She fell asleep thinking about their future together.

Claire woke up when she felt Neil leave the bed. She wasn’t happy that he got up but wasn’t ready to get out of bed just yet. She tried to sleep a little longer. Eventually she got up, she grabbed his Stanford sweatshirt and slipped it on as she made her way to the kitchen. He was sitting there drinking coffee. She saw him trying to hide a smile when he saw her. She knew that he enjoyed when she wore his clothes. He made her a cup of coffee.

Handing her the cup, he said, “You know I can just buy you one of your own.”

She took a sip of coffee. “No thanks. I like this one,” she said with a smile.

“Did you have fun last night?” he asked, taking a drink of coffee.

She made a face. “Remind me next time to not try to keep up with Morgan.”

“I’ll try,” he said with a laugh. “You mentioned something last night,” he said, placing his coffee on the counter. “Getting married, did you mean it?”

“Yes,” she answered, placing her cup next to his. 

He picked up the box and took a step towards her. She saw the box and knew what he was about to do. Her eyes filled with tears.

“I’ve been trying to figure out what level of romance to use when I ask you.”

“Start with the least romantic,” she said her voice trembling. Even though she had mentioned it to him last night, she hadn’t expected him to ask.

He took a few more steps to close the distance between them, keeping his eyes on hers.

“Marry me.”

She smiled at him as she whispered, “Yes.”

“You’re not even going to let me try a little romance before you say yes?” he teased.

“If you have to,” she said rolling her eyes with a sigh. 

She really didn’t mind as much when he did romantic things for her. It was different when he did the romantic gestures because she knew he did it because he wanted to do something for her to show her how much he loved her. Yet, she would never stop giving him a hard time about it. He placed the box on the counter and took both her hands in his. She was overwhelmed by the amount of love she saw in his eyes.

“If anyone would have told me when you first started as my resident, that we would end up like this, I would’ve laughed at them,” he began softly. “But now, I can’t imagine my life without you. I fought my feelings for you for so long, and I am so glad that we found a way to be together. I found the idiotic happiness that our young patients had.” He reached up and wiped away a tear. “My life is better because you’re in it and I can’t imagine anyone else that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” She wiped away a few tears. “If that’s just a little romance, I can’t imagine what the full blown one would be.” She wasn’t sure she would make it though his more romantic words.

“I can do that one too, if you’d like,” he said with a smile.

She shook her head, “No, that was good.”

He reached for the box and took out the ring. He gently took her hand and slid the ring on her finger. 

“Neil, it’s beautiful,” she said bringing her hand up to look at the ring.

“It had been my grandmother’s,” he said. “My mom gave it to me the day she met you.”

She looked up at him surprised, “That was ages ago. Why did you wait so long?”

He reached out to caress her face. “I wanted for everything to be perfect,” he smiled. “And then you come up telling me that we need to get married, messed with all my plans.”

“I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry.” She moved to place her arms around his neck. “I think this is perfect.”

He slid his hands around her waist and kissed her. Her arms tightened around his neck as she pulled herself closer to him. After a few minutes, she stepped away but kept her arms around him.

“What do you want for a wedding?” she asked.

“Planning already?”

She shrugged. “I may have thought about it before,” she admitted

He captured her lips for another kiss, before they stepped out of each other’s embrace to sit at the counter. He reached out and took her hand in his.

“Be honest,” she said squeezing his hand. “What do you want to do? You tell me your idea and I’ll tell you mine, so we can decide together.”

The thought of getting married in a church with everyone’s eyes on her, made her nervous but she was willing to do so if that was what he wanted. She was hoping that they would be able to compromise.

“I don’t care about the actual wedding,” he said. “I just want to be able to tell the world that Claire Browne is my wife.”

His words caused her to smile at him, really all she wanted was for him to be her husband too. “I have an idea, but I need you to promise not to agree to it if it’s not what you want to do.” She wanted to make sure they were both happy.

“I promise.”

“What if we get married just us, and we have Gabbi and your parents as witnesses?”

“I’d like that.”

She squeezed his hand. “I wasn’t done.”

He grinned. “Sorry.”

“We could then have a party for all of our friends and some of your family to celebrate, and I’ll even let you plan it.”

He pulled her hand to bring her off her seat and into his arms.

“Are you going to let me give a speech about how lucky I am and how much I love you?”

She rolled her eyes as she fought back a grin. “If you insist. But don’t expect me to give one. You’re the only one who needs to know how I feel about you.”

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” he said.

“You’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with and build a family with, of course I’ve thought about it.”

He kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She took a step away from him and tugged on his hand to have him follow her. As they made their way back to their bedroom to celebrate, she couldn’t believe that they were going to get married. She was so happy, and she couldn’t wait for them to move forward in their journey together.


	7. Chapter Seven

Claire sat at the table eating breakfast with Neil across from her. She kept looking down at the ring on her finger. She had never worn much jewelry other than her necklace, and it would take some time to get used to it. She kept rubbing her thumb against the bottom of the ring or glancing down at to make sure it was still there. Feeling, his eyes on her she glanced up to find him watching her with a smile on his face as he drank his coffee.

“What?” she asked as she finished eating.

He shook his head still smiling, “Nothing.”

“That look doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“What look?”

“You’re looking at me and smiling.”

He laughed. “Is that a bad thing?” he asked as he stood up to take their dishes to the kitchen.

“No,” she answered, moving to join him, “You just don’t usually stare at me like that.”

He placed the dishes in the sink and then turned to her. He took her hand in his and ran his finger over her ring.

“I was watching you stare at this ring,” his eyes twinkled in amusement. “I may have to take it back to get you to pay attention to me again.” He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger against her face. “And I’m always watching you, you just don’t pay attention.”

“I always pay attention.”

Laughing, he turned to put the dishes in the dishwasher. “Really? Then what was I telling you about my day today?”

She frowned as she realized she had completely missed what he had been telling her. She blamed him for distracting her with her engagement ring. She had been thinking about how to tell their coworkers. She had texted Alex, Morgan and Shaun last night to tell them, but hadn’t told anyone else at work yet.

“You have a surgery scheduled for today,” she said, holding back a grin.

“I do,” he agreed, wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing her close to him. “But that’s not what I was telling you.”

“Then I guess you’ll just have to tell me again.”

“Not going to get distracted again, are you?” he teased.

She made a show of wrapping her arms around his neck so she couldn’t see the ring. They were both laughing as he leaned down to bush his lips against hers.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too.” She wished they had another day off work to celebrate their engagement. “Now, what were you telling me?”

“I have a few meetings this morning, so I thought we could drive in together. If you don’t mind staying a little later once your shift is over, maybe we could go tell Gabbi about our engagement.”

She kissed him again. “I’d like that.” It was rare that their schedules lined up enough that they could go in together and she enjoyed when they would get to have extra time together. She also looked forward to share with Gabbi that they were officially going to be family.

They moved away from each other so they both could get finished getting ready to leave. The day before they had talked about when they wanted to get married. As Claire was nearing the end of her residency, both thought it might be a good idea to wait until she was done to get married. While both would be happy to get married sooner, they thought they had caused enough drama at work just by being together. Now that the other residents had seen that Claire wasn’t a threat and wasn’t being treated differently, they didn’t want to give them cause to return to their previous behavior. Despite their relationship, the board also realized that she was talented and an asset to the hospital. Neil had shared with her that he heard that they wanted to keep her there after her residency. He had sworn her to secrecy because he wasn’t supposed to tell her.

As they drove to work, Claire felt the familiar contentment that she always felt when she was with him. She glanced down at the ring again, liking the reminder that she was going to get to spend the rest of her life with him. Neil reached out and took her hand in his. Never taking his eyes off the road, he brought her hand up to his mouth to kiss it.

“Sap,” she teased.

He laughed. “You know you love it.”

She shrugged fighting a smile. “Maybe.”

Pulling into the parking lot, he said, “That’s not a no.”

“Maybe you’ve finally wore me down.”

“Or you just realized it’s pointless to fight my charm,” he grinned.

“What charm?” she said as she caressed his face.

“Funny,” he said as he leaned over to kiss her.

They kept their strict rules against PDA in the hospital but since they were still in the car, they gave into what they wanted. They both knew that their ability to remain professional during work was the reason why things had transitioned so smoothly. It was hard at times, but so worth it.

They slowly got out of the car not wanting their morning together to end. They parted ways once they got inside, Neil went to his office as Claire went to the locker room. She put her stuff away before heading to see Dr. Wallace to see what their plan was for the day.

She knocked before entering his office, “Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning,” he said as she sat down in front of his desk. “A few patients were admitted last night that need some tests and…”

She looked up as he stopped talking. “What’s wrong?”

He gestured towards her hand. “That wasn’t there the last time I saw you. Anything you want to share?” he asked.

As distracted as she had been earlier by her ring, once she got in the hospital, she had forgotten about it as her focus shifted to work.

“Neil asked me to marry him.”

“And I guess since you’re wearing the ring, you said yes.”

“Yes,” she said unable to stop smiling.

“Congratulations, I’m happy for you both,” he said smiling. “I do have a question for you?”

A little nervous she asked, “What?”

“What are you going to do with it when we’re in surgery?”

She reached up and touched her necklace, “I was going to put in on here.”

“Good,” he nodded. “I just wanted to make sure you had a good plan.” He leaned forward. “Don’t tell my wife, but this isn’t my original wedding ring. I forgot once to take it off and left it by the sink so I could scrub in. Went back after the surgery and it was gone.”

Curious, she asked, “She didn’t notice you came home without it?”

“I went right to the store to get a replacement and told her it had been damaged while working in the ER.” He laughed, “I hadn’t thought about that in years.”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

“Thank you,” he sighed. “I guess you can tell Neil, I don’t want to encourage secret keeping in your relationship.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

They went over what needed to be done for their patients and she went to get started. While things were better with Green and Jackson, she was relieved not to see them yet. She wasn’t sure if they would be as happy for her and Neil as Dr. Wallace was.

As she went about her day, many of the nurses and other people that she worked with noticed the ring, even some of her patients commented on it. Everyone congratulated her, and she was sure they would say something to Neil as well.

As she was heading to a patient’s room to tell give them their test results and go over their treatment plan. Morgan intercepted her and pulled her off to the side. 

“I’ve been looking for you all day,” Morgan said.

“Why? What’s wrong?” she asked concerned.

“What’s wrong is you didn’t find me earlier to show off your new ring,” she answered rolling her eyes as she grabbed Claire’s hand. “It’s beautiful.”

“It belonged to his grandmother,” she said softly.

“Of course, he’d want to give you something special like that.” Morgan looked at her expectantly.

“What?” she asked.

“This is the time when you ask me to be your bridesmaid and I pretend to think about it before saying yes.”

Claire laughed. “We’re not going to do a big wedding so no bridesmaids.” Morgan looked disappointed. “But if we were, you’d definitely be one.”

“I better.”

Claire thought about how far the two of them had come since they started working together and she filed the favoritism complaint against her and Neil. Now she considered her to be one of her closest friends.

“At least tell me that I get to go dress shopping with you.”

“We will have to do that,” she agreed. “Nothing too fancy or expensive though.”

“Fine, next day we’re both off.”

“Okay,” Claire agreed even though they wouldn’t be getting married for a while. She didn’t want to dampen Morgan’s excitement. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Claire continued to see her patient and tell them at this time they didn’t think surgery was needed. After she caught up with the other patients test results, she headed down to the ER. She saw Alex and Shaun over at the nurse’s station. Even though she had texted them to share the news, she wanted to tell them in person too. Alex noticed her first and smiled as she walked over.

“Congratulations,” he said, giving her a quick hug.

“Thank you.”

“Let me see.” He took her hand and looked at the ring. “Mia wasn’t happy that you didn’t send a picture yesterday.”

“Sorry, I didn’t even think about that.”

“It’s okay, I think she was getting some ideas in her head.”

Shaun frowned. “Would you give Mia the same ring you gave her last time you got married or is that bad luck?”

Her and Alex shared a look. She thought about how far they had all come together. She had grown to think of Alex as the older brother she never had or knew she needed. 

“A new one,” Alex answered, “for a fresh start.”

Shaun nodded before turning to Claire. “Congratulations. Are you going to change your name? Having two Dr. Melendezes would be confusing.”

It was one of the things that they had discussed when they laid in bed after celebrating their engagement. Professionally, she would continue to use Browne, she had already started to establish herself and didn’t want to have to start over. Personally, she would be adding Melendez. She wanted their future children to all share the same name as both their parents. Neil’s agreement had led to another round of celebrating.

“Don’t worry, Shaun. I’ll still be Dr. Browne.”

“Good,” he answered. “I like that.”

She smiled at him. “Me too.”

They spent a few more minutes talking, before they needed to get back to work. Claire continued seeing patients in the ER and had a few routine surgeries to perform. She saw Green and Jackson briefly and both offered their congratulations. When her shift was over, she went to the locker room to change and then headed up to Neil’s office to wait for him to be done. She took a seat at his desk and pulled out an article she had been working on. She was almost finished with it when he walked in.

He grinned when he saw her at his desk. “I’m still the only Melendez at this hospital,” he said, his amusement clear in his eyes. “I believe that’s my chair.”

She twirled around in the chair, “It’s comfortable, and you can share.”

He came behind the desk and leaned closer to her. “If we weren’t at work right now,” he whispered.

“What?” she asked, trying to look innocently at him.

They both laughed, as he nudged her out of the chair. “Come on, let me get my stuff so we can get out of here.”

“Are we still going to see Gabbi?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I never mind going to see her.” She squeezed his hand. “And maybe after you can finish that thought about what you would’ve done if we weren’t at work.”

“I look forward to it.”

He quickly packed up and they left to go see his sister. Neil kissed her once they got into the car, a preview of what to expect later. Claire couldn’t wait.


	8. Chapter Eight

Neil and Claire waited until after her residency was finished to get married. They stuck with their plan to get married with only his parents and sister by their side. It was a simple ceremony, but it meant everything to them. Claire stuck by her promise that they would have a party with their friends and family, and she let Neil take care of planning it. His mother got involved as well. Claire thought it was a good thing, especially when she noticed that his mother was including Gabbi too. Since they decided to take a small honeymoon, the celebration was a few weeks after the wedding.

Claire couldn’t describe the way it felt when Neil had slipped the ring on her finger. In that moment it felt like everything and nothing had changed. They already knew that they planned to spend forever together, but now it was as if they were able to share that with the rest of the world. She had never thought too much about marriage before, but knew she was incredibly lucky to have him by her side.

A few days after they had returned from their honeymoon, Claire started to feel nauseous and exhausted. At first, she thought it was just jet lag. She had tried to hide it from him, but as always, he noticed. He worried that things were bad at the hospital again, but she told him she just thought that she was getting sick. He tried to convince her to take a few days off, but since they took time after the wedding, she didn’t want to take more. After a couple days of feeling sick, she realized that she might be pregnant. She had known from her first year of residency that Neil wanted to have children, but early when they had first decided on a relationship, they had discussed their desire to have a family together. She wanted to share her suspicions with him but decided it against it. She didn’t want him to be disappointed if she wasn’t pregnant.

Considering that they worked together, she had to be sneaky about getting a blood test done at the hospital. She had recruited Carly to help her, since she would be able to draw the blood and run the test without anyone else knowing. She had been happy to help Claire and would notify her as soon as she knew the results.

It was the day of their celebration and Neil had been called in for an emergency surgery. He promised to be back in time so that they could go together. She hoped that he was right, because she didn’t want to go alone with so many members of his family being there. She loved that she was now part of a large family, but for someone who was used to not having one, they could be overwhelming at times.

He had been gone almost an hour when she had gotten the phone call from Carly. Her eyes filled with happy tears as Carly confirmed that she was pregnant. She congratulated her and promised not to tell anyone. Claire thanked her and hung up in a daze.

She felt as if she was mix of different emotions. She was happy, ecstatic really, about creating a family with Neil, but there was the nagging voice of her mother in her head telling that she wouldn’t do a good job raising a child. She had told Neil her fears before, and he tried to tell her that he knew she would be an amazing mother. She had also had numerous conversations with her therapist about it. Her therapist had told her that worrying about being a good parent was normal, and that if she talked to her or Neil about her fears it would be okay.

She wished now that he was home. She wanted to share the good news with him. She thought about waiting until after the party but knew he would realize something was wrong if she wasn’t drinking the champagne with the rest of them. She loved that he knew here so well, but it also made it difficult to ever surprise him.

She got a glass of water and sat down on the sofa as she tried to think about how she would share the news with him. She tried to picture what their child would look like, if they would have a boy or a girl, if they would look more like her or him. She had no doubt that Neil would be an amazing father, and she was glad that she would be the one to experience it with him.

With a sigh, she realized that it was getting close to the time they would need to leave for the party. She checked her phone and hadn’t heard anything from him. She started to get ready. She put on the off-white dress she had bought with Morgan and fixed her hair and makeup. Once she was done, she headed back to the living room and heard the door open. She smiled as Neil walked in.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “that took longer…” he stopped when he saw her. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” she said as he came over to kiss her.

“Are you sure we have to go?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close.

“Everyone’s going to be there to celebrate us getting married, I think we do.” She started to tell him that she wanted to tell him something, but he sighed as he stepped away from her.

“Okay. Let me shower and get changed and we can go.” He kissed her again before heading into the bedroom to get ready.

She listened as the water turned on and sat back down on the sofa. She needed to tell him. She thought of going in while he was in the shower but thought it would be better to wait until he was done. He showered quickly and she heard the water turn back off. She waited a moment before she went into the bedroom.

“I want to tell you,” she stopped when she noticed he was only wearing a towel around his waist.

He turned to face her, “Tell me what?”

All thoughts had left her as she looked at him. Even though they had been together for a while, she still found him breathtakingly gorgeous.

“You okay?” he asked with a frown.

“I thought you’d be dressed. You distracted me.”

He took a few steps towards her, with his familiar cocky grin. He reached for the corner of his towel, “I can distract you even more.”

Her gazed traveled across his body. She was tempted but shook her head. “We’ll be late for the party.”

“It’s our party, I think it will be okay,” he said, moving closer to her.

“Do you really want to explain to your mother that we were late because we were having sex?”

He made a face, “No. Did you say you wanted to tell me something?”

“Put some clothes on first and I will,” she said as she moved to sit on the bed. He gave her another grin as he slowly started getting dressed. She leaned back and watched him.

He left his shirt unbuttoned as he moved to stand in front of her. She gently caressed his chest before she looked up at him.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“I need your help tonight.”

“With what?”

“I can’t have any of the champagne,” she bit her lip hoping that he understood.

“Why?” he asked, his confusion clear.

She reached out and took his hand and placed it against her stomach. She watched as the confusion on his face gave way to hopeful understanding.

“You’re pregnant?” 

She nodded and watched as his face lit up in a large smile. She could see so many different emotions in his eyes as they filled with tears.

“I found out for sure a few hours ago.”

He kept one hand against her stomach and brought his other hand up to caress her face. “Why didn’t you tell me you suspected?” he asked softly.

“I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

He shook his head. “We do things together and you never have to worry about disappointing me.” He took a step back and pulled on her hands to bring her off the bed. He kissed her before he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “Are you happy?”

“Very,” she kissed him again, “You?”

His smile grew as he answered, “Absolutely.”

She could see and feel the joy radiating off him. She wondered if anyone at the party would suspect anything or think he was just happy to be celebrating their marriage.

Checking the time, she said, “We need to go.”

He kissed her again. “I think we can be late.” He tried to maneuver them towards the bed, but she placed her hand against his chest to stop him.

“No, we should be on time,” she said. “Maybe we can leave early?”

“And you want to be the one to tell my mother that we’re leaving early to have sex?” he teased as he kissed her neck.

“She’ll find out about our sex life soon enough when we tell her I’m pregnant.”

“She’s going to be thrilled for her first grandchild.”

“I don’t want to tell her tonight,” she said softly. “I want this to just be for us for now.”

Considering she had just gotten the results from the blood test and hadn’t even seen the doctor yet, she didn’t want to share their news with anyone.

“Of course,” he agreed. 

He kissed her one more time before taking a step back to finish getting ready. Claire sat back on the edge of the bed to watch him.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m okay right now.”

“Good,” he said. He came back over to stand in front of her. He always looked incredibly handsome, but she enjoyed the way he looked in his suit. “Don’t hide it from me if you don’t feel well.”

“I won’t.” He gave her a look of disbelief. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I worry more if I think you’re not telling me what’s wrong.”

“Okay. I’ll tell you everything.”

“Good,” he reached for her hand. “Let’s go so we’re not late.”

They went out to the car and drove to the venue his mother had chosen for the party. They talked about the baby and the plans for when Claire would make an appointment to see the doctor. They were both incredibly happy and despite teasing each other about being late or leaving early, they were looking forward to celebrating their marriage with their friends and family.

Even though they were only a few minutes late, the party was already in full swing. As soon as they entered, they were met with family congratulating them. Claire saw people she had never met before and was a little overwhelmed. He left her for a moment so he could go get them drinks. He returned a few minutes later with two champagne glasses.

As he handed her the glass, he leaned over to whisper in her ear, “It’s sparkling cider.”

“Thanks.” Before she took a sip, she asked, “How do you know this is the right one?”

“They’re both sparking cider,” he smiled. “If you can’t drink, I won’t either.”

“You don’t have to do that. I wouldn’t expect you to give up coffee.”

He frowned before saying, “I would for you.”

They stood together as various family members and friends came up to congratulate them. He made sure that he was in charge of their drinks and kept both glasses full for toasts. He also made sure that she had plenty to eat. She wasn’t too hungry but made sure to eat a little so he wouldn’t worry.

She wasn’t a fan of being the center of attention, but for him she would deal with it. When she looked at him, she could see his happiness shining in his eyes. She hoped that he could see the same in hers. After a while, everyone had a seat so that they could start the speeches. She sat at the front table, but he stood to get the microphone to give his speech first. Seeing the smile on his face, brought tears to her eyes before he even said a word. The talking in the crowd died down as he started.

“My wife isn’t a fan of romance, but when I asked her to marry me, she gave me permission to share how much I love her. I could stand up here for hours and tell you how amazing she is and how happy I am that she is my wife.” He turned to her and smiled. “Getting to this moment wasn’t always easy, but I am so grateful we fought for each other. I can’t imagine anyone else that I could spend the rest of my life with. I love you, Claire and I can’t wait to see what happens next in our journey together. Being with you has made me a better man and I hope I can continue to be worthy of your love.”

She wiped at the tears in her eyes as he came to join her at their table. She stood up and wrapped her arms around him. He held her close as she said, “I love you too”

After his speech, his mother stood up to talk. Neil moved his chair even closer to hers so that he could wrap his arm around her. They listened as various family members and friends stood to give their blessings and congratulations. Some of his family gave their speech in Spanish. Even though he knew she had a pretty good understanding of the language, he leaned over to translate for her.

She shivered with the proximity of him, the combination of his breath ticking her ear and his fingers running down her arm distracting her. She was lost in his embrace when she finally focused on what he was saying.

“That’s not what he said,” she whispered.

He laughed softly in her ear, “Just making sure you’re paying attention.”

She turned to look at him, and she was enthralled by the pure joy and happiness that she saw on his face with the love shining in his eyes. She couldn’t stop herself from kissing him.

“Not that I’m complaining but what was that for?” 

“I’m just really happy.”

“Me to.”

After the speeches, they started the music for everyone to dance. He held out his hand and drew her out to the dance floor. Happy and content she settled in his arms as they danced together. She thought about the family and friends that surrounded them, and all the love that she felt in the room. She thought about their child and all the love they would have growing up. She thought about everything that they had gone through to get to this moment, and she knew she wouldn’t change a thing. She snuggled closer against him as he tightened his arms around her. She knew that this was the beginning of a new adventure together and she couldn’t wait to experience it with him.


	9. Chapter Nine - Ten Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at their life ten years later.

As Claire got ready for bed after the party to celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary, she couldn’t believe that ten years had passed. So much had changed in that time, while some things stayed the same. They both still worked together, working hard to maintain schedules that would allow them to be home with their kids. Their relationship evolved over the years, but the one constant was the love and devotion that they had for each other. That never changed.

She climbed into bed as Neil doubled checked that all the kids were really asleep. They had taken longer to settle down after the excitement of the party. Although she knew that he always checked on them again before he came to bed, even if he had been the one to tuck them in at bed time. She knew he would stick to his usual routine too, first their oldest daughter nine-year old Serena, then their seven-year old son Nathan, followed by their four-year old twin girls Ava and Ella. They were lucky to have four amazing children. She enjoyed watching them develop their own strong personalities, while still getting glimpses of her or Neil in them.

They had challenges through their marriage, arguments and disagreements, but they always worked through it. Their biggest challenge had been after Serena was born. Claire couldn’t see it at the time, but she had been dealing with postpartum depression. She had pushed Neil away and felt as if she had to deal with everything all by herself so that she could prove that she wasn’t like her mother. She thought about the night when it all felt as if it was falling apart. The night when she knew they would be able to make it through anything.

_Serena was eight weeks old and Neil had been back at work for two weeks. Claire was still on maternity leave. Since Neil was back at work and she could rest during the day, she continued to insist that she get up for all the feedings at night, even though she had pumped and there were bottles available for Neil to use. One day everything all seemed to fall apart. The baby hadn’t wanted to nurse, too upset to settle down. Claire had tried everything she could to calm her down and felt close to tears herself. She felt as if she was failing her daughter because she couldn’t comfort her or feed her. Neil came home from work to find Claire sitting on the sofa with a crying Serena in her arms._

_He immediately went to them both and held out his hands. “I’ll take her.”_

_“I can take care of my daughter,” Claire snapped standing up._

_“I know that,” he said, looking surprised. “I just thought…”_

_“That I can’t give her what she needs,” she interrupted. “That I’m a bad mother.”_

_“That’s not at all what I was thinking,” he started. He took a step towards her. “Claire…”_

_“Don’t,” she said, handing him the baby. “She’ll be better without me.”_

_“Don’t say that,” he said adjusting Serena in his arms as he reached for her._

_Claire pulled away from him, grabbed her keys and left. The tears started before she even got out the door. She went to the car, and her hands shook too much to put the key in the ignition. She leaned against the steering wheel and cried, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. The last time she had cried this hard was when her mother had died, and Neil had found her in the stairwell._

_Eventually the tears stopped, and she was left with her exhaustion. She felt overwhelmed and like a failure. She worried that Neil was going to regret marrying her, regret starting a family with her. Feeling numb, she left the car and went back into the house._

_She stood and watch him holding a sleeping Serena in his arms. He looked heartbroken as he gazed down at the baby. She didn’t think she was imagining the relief in his eyes when he looked up and saw her standing there. He gently placed Serena in her bassinet and came to her._

_“I’m sorry,” she said softly._

_He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly against him. She wrapped her arms around him hugging him just as tight. She felt like crying again but held back her tears. They stood that way in each other’s arms for a few minutes._

_Neil eventually stepped back and wiped at her tears. He placed his hands against her face, forcing her to meet his eyes._

_“You are the best mother,” he said, his voice breaking. “And I am so sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I felt otherwise. Serena, is so lucky to have you.”_

_She hated that she had been the one to put that devastated look in his eyes. She took a few deep breaths to make sure that she was calm before explaining to him what happened._

_“She’d been crying all day, and I wasn’t able to comfort her. I thought that you thought I wasn’t doing a good job taking care of her, and that’s why you wanted to take her.”_

_“No,” he said adamantly. “That’s not what I was thinking at all.” He wiped at a few more stray tears. “Claire, you’ve been with her on your own all day. I was thinking that you deserved a break and that I wanted to spend time with her too.”_

_She realized then that him returning to work had been hard on him too, and that what had been missing the past few weeks was the partnership that they usually shared. She knew that was her fault as well._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_He took her hand and they moved to sit down on the sofa. Both of them looked at their sleeping daughter._

_Claire turned to him, “I’m so afraid that I’m going to do something wrong,” she admitted. “That I’m going to turn into my mother.”_

_“That won’t happen.” She opened her mouth to argue with him, but he continued. “Do you think your mother sat there worried that she wasn’t going to be the best for you? Do you think she ever stayed up all night to make sure you were okay?”_

_“I just walked out on her,” she said softly._

_“No, you went and sat in the car for twenty minutes. You never even turned it on.” She looked at him surprised. “Of course, I went to check on you.” He glanced between her and Serena. “Claire, you two are everything to me.” He reached out to caress her face.” If you’re hurting or worried, I need you to talk to me.”_

_“I am.”_

_“You haven’t been. You’ve been trying to do everything and you’re exhausted.”_

_“You’re back at work.”_

_He shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. We are supposed to be a team. She’s our daughter.”_

_She knew that he was right. She had been trying to do things on her own, and she wasn’t sure why she had been pushing him away. She thought that she might need to make an appointment with her therapist. So many of the issues that she thought she had dealt with before seemed to have come back after having Serena._

_“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”_

_“No, you have that backwards. I’m the lucky one.” He drew her into arms and for the first time in weeks, she had felt like maybe things could be back to normal._

They had other challenging days in their marriage, but it was that moment when she really knew that they were going to be together forever. After talking to her therapist, she realized that despite her happiness with him, a part of her still expected it to all fall apart. That was when she realized that they were stronger together and that even when it was hard it was important for them to share with each other. They still fought and disagreed, but they always worked it out.

She glanced up as Neil walked into the room distracting her from her thoughts. He climbed into bed beside her and they turned to face each other.

“They are all asleep.”

“That’s good,” she said. “Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary.”

She ran her fingers over his tattoo thinking about when a three-year-old Nathan had cried because he didn’t have one like his father, and then a few days later when at bath time they realized that Serena had tried to draw a deer on his chest to match Neil’s. He caught her fingers and brought them up to his mouth to kiss her.

“I can’t believe it’s been ten years,” she said softly.

“Any regrets?”

“No. You?”

He sighed. “It’s not really a regret, but I do wish I had told you earlier that I loved you. I think of all the time we wasted pretending to just be friends.”

“I think everything happened the way it was meant to.”

“Such a sap,” he teased with a smile, closing the gap between them to kiss her.

“I learned from you.” She had to get over her dislike for romantic gestures because Neil refused to stop, although, he did try to make sure that he did things that wouldn’t annoy her too much. Unfortunately, it seemed all their children took after him in that regard, and all liked doing things for her too.

“I can’t believe Serena’s going to be ten. We’re getting old.”

“Speak for yourself.”

She looked at him, with the same cocky grin, just with a few more wrinkles and gray hair, just as handsome as the first time she saw him. She thought about the moment that brought them together, and how different her life would be if his injury during the earthquake would’ve been more serious. Even after all these years, she still sometimes had nightmares of losing him.

She was pulled from those thoughts, as he drew her closer to him and started kissing her. They were soon interrupted by a knock at their door and a call for Mommy. They froze.

“I thought you said they were asleep.”

“They were. Maybe if we’re quiet, they’ll think we’re asleep too.”

Another knock, followed by, “Mommy, Ava threw up.”

Claire made a face, “Why do they always call for me when they throw up?”

Neil laughed as they both climbed out of bed. The kids never really seemed to have a preference between the two of them, but there were times when they would want one parent over the other. Claire tended to get called if they had thrown up or didn’t feel well, and they always wanted Neil if they had injured themselves.

Opening the door, they were meet with their twin daughters, looking miserable. Ava was covered in throw up and Ella was trying to help her and had some on her pajamas as well. Her and Neil exchanged a look and moved into action. She took both girls into the bathroom to get cleaned up, while he went to strip their bed and wash their sheets. She took their temperatures just in case but figured they had probably overdone it at the party with all the sweets and excitement. 

Once they were changed, she took them to go lay in the bed with her. She knew that Ava would want to cuddle after being sick, and Ella never let her sister out of her sight. As they settled together, she was a little disappointed that her and Neil’s plans for the evening would have to change. However, as parents to four children, they were used to it.

She looked up as Nathan came into the room. She fought back a smile at the look of concern on his face. It was an expression she had seen on Neil’s face so many times. She wished her phone was closer so she could take a picture.

“Are they okay?” he asked.

“Ava wasn’t feeling good, but she’s okay,” she told him as Ava cuddled closer to her.

“Good,” he said, moving to climb into the bed with them.

She was grateful that all the kids got along together and would always keep an eye out for each other. They fought at times too, but when it mattered, they were there for each other. She wondered how things would change as they got older.

Without a sound, Serena came into their room too. Claire wondered how long she had debated coming in. She had been trying to act more grown up lately as the oldest. She motioned for Serena to join them. With a smile, she climbed into the bed as well.

She knew that she needed to enjoy moments like this while they lasted. With the kids getting older, she imagined that moments like this wouldn’t happen often with all the kids together at once. It made her a little sad, but also made the memories that much more special.

Neil came back into the room and stood watching them all. They made eye contact and she could see the same thoughts reflected in his eyes. They had done pretty good the last ten years together.

“You guys need to move over so I have some space too.”

The kids started moving around as they accidently hit and kicked each other as they comfortable. The laughter as they settled down brought her so much happiness. She was grateful for her amazing family. They went through a round of goodnights and telling each other they loved each other, something they always did before bed. Eventually the giggling stopped as the kids slowly feel asleep.

“I love you,” Neil whispered once it was quiet.

“I love you.”

As she drifted off to sleep, she knew the night didn’t go exactly as they had planned, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She looked forward to creating a lifetime of memories with their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!!


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